One day I was losing my mind (I do that more that I would like to admit). I was just fed up with the constant chattiness of Aiden, Averie in DIRE need of stuff, a messy house, no husband, not enough hours in the day, not enough arms/hands etc. Basically a pity party tailored just for yours truly. After a few deep breaths, a diet coke and moment to get myself together, I realized that I needed something to bridge the gap between Aiden needing discipline and my inconsistency. I find that it's too easy for me to just tune out what I don't feel like addressing and then all of a sudden I SNAP, raise my voice and go nutso and my sweet son has no idea what happened. :( A light bulb went off in my head and I dashed to the kitchen to locate a jar that Aiden could fill with something when he made a good choice. I thought this would be good because it would alleviate the what feels like constant explaining on my part and the constant negotiation on his. So, out of my rear I introduced the "good choice" jar with a bag of marshmallows....I read somewhere that to understand and retain something, it is good for us to engage as many senses as possible...or something to that effect. So when introducing the jar I realized that Aiden will get to "touch" his marshmallows when filling up the container, "see" them in there so he can visualize his progress, and "hear" my praise for good behavior. On the flip side, I could remove a mallow when he's been naughty. It was sounding more and more like a great idea. So, out it comes and I tell Aiden about the concept behind the jar and what it means, the rules, and what will happen when he fills it up. I told him we could go on a "date" for ice cream or a movie, or we could go let him pick something out at Target...basically whatever was special to him. Of course he chose to pick out a toy at Target. Total boy after my own heart :)
Some of the things that earn marshmallows, or rather "washmallows" as A-Bay calls them, are putting Averie's bottles in the sink, making his bed, being sweet and sharing with his sister, throwing trash away, eating ALL his dinner, etc. He has DONE a GREAT job and it's only taken him a couple weeks and he's about to earn his prize. It has been a GINORMOUS stress reliever for me because a) I don't have to freak out when he's getting a little wacky b) it closes that gap between me subconsciously tuning out and him getting away with whatever c) He's actually EXCITED to make good choices! I walked in his room just this morning to a made bed and picked up toys. Uhm...HELLO?! Why didn't I do this a year ago?? Another bonus is when we are out and about, he doesn't ask for anything and everything around him. He gets reminded once that his jar is still not quite full and until it is, he has to wait. Fanflippintastic...
I love my boy so much it's crazy...and to see him succeeding in this little endeavor has been super rewarding for BOTH of us. Hooray for free agency and making good choices!
