The "Washmallow" Jar

One day I was losing my mind (I do that more that I would like to admit). I was just fed up with the constant chattiness of Aiden, Averie in DIRE need of stuff, a messy house, no husband, not enough hours in the day, not enough arms/hands etc. Basically a pity party tailored just for yours truly. After a few deep breaths, a diet coke and moment to get myself together, I realized that I needed something to bridge the gap between Aiden needing discipline and my inconsistency. I find that it's too easy for me to just tune out what I don't feel like addressing and then all of a sudden I SNAP, raise my voice and go nutso and my sweet son has no idea what happened. :( A light bulb went off in my head and I dashed to the kitchen to locate a jar that Aiden could fill with something when he made a good choice. I thought this would be good because it would alleviate the what feels like constant explaining on my part and the constant negotiation on his. So, out of my rear I introduced the "good choice" jar with a bag of marshmallows....

I read somewhere that to understand and retain something, it is good for us to engage as many senses as possible...or something to that effect. So when introducing the jar I realized that Aiden will get to "touch" his marshmallows when filling up the container, "see" them in there so he can visualize his progress, and "hear" my praise for good behavior. On the flip side, I could remove a mallow when he's been naughty. It was sounding more and more like a great idea. So, out it comes and I tell Aiden about the concept behind the jar and what it means, the rules, and what will happen when he fills it up. I told him we could go on a "date" for ice cream or a movie, or we could go let him pick something out at Target...basically whatever was special to him. Of course he chose to pick out a toy at Target. Total boy after my own heart :)

Some of the things that earn marshmallows, or rather "washmallows" as A-Bay calls them, are putting Averie's bottles in the sink, making his bed, being sweet and sharing with his sister, throwing trash away, eating ALL his dinner, etc. He has DONE a GREAT job and it's only taken him a couple weeks and he's about to earn his prize. It has been a GINORMOUS stress reliever for me because a) I don't have to freak out when he's getting a little wacky b) it closes that gap between me subconsciously tuning out and him getting away with whatever c) He's actually EXCITED to make good choices! I walked in his room just this morning to a made bed and picked up toys. Uhm...HELLO?! Why didn't I do this a year ago?? Another bonus is when we are out and about, he doesn't ask for anything and everything around him. He gets reminded once that his jar is still not quite full and until it is, he has to wait. Fanflippintastic...

I love my boy so much it's crazy...and to see him succeeding in this little endeavor has been super rewarding for BOTH of us. Hooray for free agency and making good choices!

Rarrr!

I've decided LONG ago that Aiden watches way TOO MUCH television. Sometimes it's just easier for me to turn on PBS kids or Nick Jr. and let him veg out while I get my stuff done. Well, since begging for TV has become a regular thing around here, I've decided that I just need to keep him busy...OUT of the house and AWAY from the BOOB TUBE.

Pearlridge mall has a dinosaur exhibit with a train that I decided to take the kids to. I was actually really impressed with how nice it was. Of course i couldn't tell Aiden where we were going until we pulled into the garage...because it would have been nonstop CHATTING the entire ride there. However, once I revealed the surprise, little man was grinning ear to ear.

Aiden got to hold a T-Rex tooth and pose for a little photo op. He wasn't to thrilled at getting close to that giant head behind him...


But, I made him do it anyway. He kept saying in a shakey voice, "I don't wanna touch his teeth mom, I can't he's gonna EEEEEEEEEEEEAT me!" So of course I tried to get him to stick his whole head in there and pretend that he was being eaten. He won that battle, and the next picture was as far as we got. :)
His little imagination is currently running wild, so I can understand his fear of the "beasts." They really were realistic looking. He was super thrilled about getting to ride the train...but when he saw the dinosaurs all around the tracks, he was starting to second guess himself. I told him to buckle up and just close his eyes when he saw a scary one. He was reminded by the train workers, my girlfriend Erin, and myself that they were just robots and they couldn't walk. He wasn't convinced. So as he passed the T-Rex the first few times this is what he did...



By the end he was waving and happy. Thank goodness. I was starting to feel bad that he was so nervous. It's a great feeling to watch your kids overcome something. Even if it's a silly dinosaur exhibit.

The above picture is Aiden's friend Ali. She came to the train with us and then we all headed over to 808 bounce to jump in the inflatable jumpy things for a bit. It turned out to be a fun day. I'm excited to see the next exhibit the mall will offer!

Preschool Graduation

On May 19th, Aiden graduated Keiki Land preschool for the year. It was a month long program that the seniors at Campbell High School put on each spring. He absolutely loved it! He was such a ham up there, running up to get his diploma. He was loved by all the seniors and would always compliment how well he talks. YES I KNOW...the kid won't ever sit in silence. He sure is a cutie and is friendly to everyone he meets. No self esteem problem here! We will definitely have him do this program again, it was great, and gave Aiden something fun to do each day.

Silly sayings form Abay

This last week has been SO REFRESHING! Leslie (my friend since 7th grade) is making a temporary move to Maui, and she came and stayed with Aiden and I for almost a week before heading over! I cannot even tell you how nice it was to have a girlfriend to talk to 24/7, go to the beach with, get massages with, eat junk food and laugh with. Not to mention Aiden was in love :) We had a great time caching up on the craziness of our lives, and we could not stop laughing at things Aiden would say.... Here are a few Samples.

#1- Aiden is just waking up for the day and yells from his room, "Hey mom, It's ME, Aiden!" "I'm awake now."
#2- We are getting TCBY the other night and Aiden insists on doing the ordering. He tells me, "Mom, I need to talk to the lady about my ice cream." So I pick him up so he can choose his flavor out of the case, and he chooses a purple and yellow sorbet. He tells the lady that he would like that kind and while she is scooping only the purple color Aiden says, "Hey lady, I need the YELLOW too!" Yes, I was beat red. :) It was all said politely, but he really needs to learn the term ma'am and not 'lady'. Jeez....

#3- In the spirit of being 3 years old, Mr. Aiden does NOT like holding my hand while crossing the street, in a parking lot, etc. He got too far away too many times, so I yelled at him to get closer. He swiftly says, "Mom you can't yell at me, you need to make good choices!" What a way to remind me what's important Aiden...thanks. :)

He's a crack up!

She can't be naked Mom

When we were on the hunt for the perfect train for Aiden's potty reward, Aiden asked if baby Averie wore underwear. I told him that when Averie comes, she won't have any clothes. "Mom," Aiden says, "Baby Averie can't be Naked!" I started to chuckle and so we went to find her some clothes to "cover her nakedness." This is what Aiden picked out for her. It's so tiny and adorable, and I've officially fallen in love with girl clothes :) Thanks Abay. Your lil sis is gonna love it!

Stop....Potty Time!

This week has been working on goal number 2 while Jon is away...Potty Training. Oh have I stressed about this, had nightmares about this, DREADED this for 3 years. But today at 6pm, I saw a light the end of the tunnel...the toilet tunnel that is. I started officially potty training on Sunday this week. I gave in and bought the highly recommended e-book from www.3daypottytraining.com. At a steep price of 24 bucks, I was committed. The lady that wrote this book says throw out all diapers and pull ups. And have the child do it. (Are you kidding me?! Those are a pretty penny) So feeling guilty for spending the money on this book, I got a garbage bag and had Aiden put the last of his diapers and pull ups inside and say goodbye. He was only gonna wear underwear now. He was totally okay with this. Waved bye bye to the bag and to the garage it went. (I can't bring myself to chuck em). Let the games begin! Aiden was told that he could not pee on his Thomas underwear or Thomas would be VERY sad, and that he was to let me know when it was time to potty. I can honestly say, Aiden did great! With just 2 accidents, he's been consistently using the potty for #1. JUST #1. That night was my first nightmare of you know what smeared you know where and I'm alone away from everyone left with the smell and stench. Thankfully this did not happen. I think I would surely die!


So Sunday comes and goes, as well as Monday, and no #2. Great. Now I've constipated the kid. So now I second guess everything. Is he not ready? Am I pushing this too fast? Is he scared? Ugh, I can't do an accident of this kind. My superhero pregnant nose will detect it and I will pass out...I'm sure of it. Why did I decide to do this without Jon? I must be crazy. Well, while I am feeling sorry for myself for trying to tackle this what seems to be daunting task, Aiden hides under the kitchen table and....yep you guessed it. I was crushed! After all the positive encouragement, offering of treats, stickers, temporary tattoos, etc. How could this little "turd" (no pun intended) do this to me?! Anyway, we run to the bathroom, clean up the mess and tell Thomas that Aiden was sorry for "coloring" him. So Wednesday and Thursday come and go with no more #2. Stopped up again. Fantastic. So I whip out the mandarin oranges and juice and hi fiber foods to try and make this kid do his business...in the right spot. Once again, Aiden thinks that he should hide in his closet to do this. LUCKY! So we clean that up and I express how important it is for Aiden to send his stuff down the tunnel in the potty, and that he NEEDS to tell mommy when he feels like he needs to go.

Friday is here. Still doing GREAT on #1. I'm getting nervous for what is inevitably coming..so after my Dr. Appt that was a joke (blog to follow later) I decide that we need BIG incentive to make this a thing of the past. The NEX has a Thomas the train section, and I let Aiden pick out a train that he could have when he finally went on the pot. He wanted it on the way home, to carry it in the house, sit with it at dinner, etc. I said, "NO WAY! NOT UNTIL YOU POOP IN THE POTTY." I decided that the shiny new incentive would sit on our shelf where Aiden could see it all afternoon and think about maybe trying to "git r done."

He's such a trickster. He peed about 6 times trying to get me hand over the prize, saying how is bum is empty and he just can't put his stuff in the bowl. I started ignoring his persuasion and finally...after a couple of hours...out of NOWHERE, the kid dashes in the bathroom without a word and sits and DOES IT! I started screaming, crying, jumping up and down and almost had an accident of my own. Oh the elation! I clearly felt like I was floating. I know, over bodily waste, crazy!

So now, Aiden is enjoying his new shiny Thomas complete with a jet engine that lights up and makes sounds, and I am sitting on the sofa blogging a novel about the event. Ah, the things we get excited about when you grow up and have kids.

Scattered about through this lengthy post is Aiden, post potty, with his reward. Enjoy. I'm loving every minute of it!